Bent Out Of Shape
by Eloven
Summary: It's just a normal morning for Kyle. He wakes up to bright sunlight and stretches, maybe letting out a stray yawn. And then he looks down.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome to YET ANOTHER new fanfiction by me, Eloven! I recently read an awesome South Park genderbender fanfiction which I will look up later because I'm lazy. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Chapter 1**

**Kyle POV**

I yawned loudly as I opened my eyes. I was greeted by blinding sunlight; my curtains had been left open overnight. I groaned and sat up, stretching my arms above my head.

Wait.

Wait just a god-damned minute.

I looked closely at my hands. Were they…smaller than normal? My fingers were definitely longer.

And then, I looked down.

"AAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DO I HAVE…BOOBS?" I bolted out of bed and over to the nearest mirror. Yep, there was no doubt about it. I was definitely, undeniably, 100% female. I felt all over: my now-petite nose, full lips, tiny waist, thin arms, and disturbingly flat…erm…nether region.

"Oh, God," I wailed, yanking my long, flowy red hair. Suddenly, I heard "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne emanating from my bedroom.

"Why's Stan calling me?" I thought, puzzled. As I sprinted into my bedroom to catch the phone call, I noticed that my chest was jiggling.

"Jesus Christ," I thought, facepalming and making a mental note to borrow one of my mom's bras.

"Dude, something weird is happening," Stan started shakily.

"You're a chick, aren't you?" I asked, relieved that I wasn't the only one.

"Oh, no, dude, are you a chick, too?" Stan asked frantically. "Can I come over?"

"Yeah," I said tiredly. "Oh man, good thing our parents won that stupid free vacation."

"You said it." Stan hung up. He was at my house in under a minute and a half.

"I think that's a new record," I said sarcastically as I opened the door.

I stopped in my tracks.

"Whoa, dude," we said in unison.

It sounds weird to say it, but Stan was HOT. His dark hair was long and shiny, and he had curves in all the right places, as if I could sound any more cliché.

"You're hot!" Stan said, at the same time as I said, "You're beautiful!" Our eyes went wide and suddenly, we both blushed.

"Um," I said quickly. "Should we call Kenny?"

"Yeah, dude," Stan said. He was still red-faced and seemed pretty distressed. Hmmm.

Ten minutes later, Kenny showed up with Cartman. Stan and I answered the door and Kenny's nose practically exploded.

"Mmphm!" he exclaimed, covering his gushing nose. Stan, Cartman and I watched as Kenny turned pale and subsequently lost consciousness.

"Dude, is he…dead?" Stan asked quietly, a terrified look on his face.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, quickly checking Kenny's pulse.

"Haha, dude, I'm just surprised he didn't already get a nosebleed from his own boobs," Cartman said, chuckling.

"We killed Kenny!" I said, ignoring Cartman.

"We're bastards!" Stan replied guiltily.

"Dude, seriousleh, check out Kenny's boobs! They're huge!"

Indeed they were. Of course Kenny had the biggest boobs out of all of us. Of course Kenny was also wearing the sluttiest outfit. Where did he even get that crop top? His sister's closet?

"Holy shit," Stan breathed, staring at our dead friend's huge rack. I slapped his arm. Hard.

"Dude, stop staring at Kenny!"

"Yeah, sure whatever," Stan said, scoffing. Then, suddenly, his eyes went wide and he grabbed my arm. "Oh my god, what if Wendy is a dude?"

My jaw dropped. So did Fatass's.

"Ho-ly shit," I rubbed my forehead. "Call her, man."

Stan nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He quickly dialed Wendy's number and put the phone up to his ear. Wendy screamed so loud, it sounded like she was in the room with us.

"STAAAAAAAAAN!" she wailed, causing Stan's face to contort in pain and discomfort. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE THE GOD-DAMNED BATHROOM ANYMORE!"

"Wendy, please, calm down. Kyle and Cartman are here, too," Stan said cautiously. Wendy obviously did calm down, seeing as I couldn't hear her absurdly loud screeching anymore.

"Wendy, please, it's gonna be okay," Stan said softly. "Why don't you come over to Kyle's house? Yeah. Okay. Five minutes. See you, babe." Stan hung up the phone and I raised my eyebrows at him. He shrugged and flopped onto my couch.

"Wonder how the others are doing," he said absently. "Butters, Token, Tweek, Pip, Craig, Clyde."

"Dude, maybe we should give each other new names," I joked, lightly punching Stan's lean shoulder. "Maybe I'll call you Stephanie. Or Stella. Ooh, yeah, Stella is perfect."

"Kyle, you don't want to go there," Stan warned.

"Oh, whatever, _Stella_." I said teasingly.

"Fine, call me what you want, _Kylie_. I guess we'll still call Cartman 'Cartman' though."

"Guess so," I replied coldly, glaring at Stan after his use of that _stupid_ nickname.

"Dude, what about the other girls? Bebe, Rebecca, Annie, Nichole?" Cartman listed.

"Holy crap, I bet they're even more freaked out than us," I laughed, holding my hand out in front of me and studying my fingernails. "At least our nails are nice."

"That's really gay, dude," Stan said, giggling.

"Hey, man, we're girls now. Doesn't matter how gay I act." I scoffed.

"That is some fucked-up logic." Stan shook his head.

The doorbell rang soon after that, and Wendy came bursting through my door, Bebe in tow.

"Oh, shit," I breathed. Yep, dudes.

"Aw, man, you look better than I do, er, did," Stan whined to Wendy.

"Speak for yourself," Wendy said disbelievingly. "You make a really pretty girl, Stan!"

Her voice was dripping with jealousy. Even Stan could hear it.

As if it were possible, Bebe was even better-looking than Wendy. I mean, damn.

"Thanks, Kyle," Bebe said awkwardly.

"Shit, did I say that out loud?" I said, my eyes wide and cheeks burning. Bebe nodded. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. It's a compliment, after all…" Bebe trailed off, leaving a truly awkward silence that was broken by Cartman's abhorrently annoying laughter.

"Dude, that could _not_ have been any more awkward! You sure you didn't start off as a chick?"

"Shut up, Fatass," I said, annoyed.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

**A/N: Cliffhanger! Sorry I use the word "dude" so much. It seems to fit. Anyway, chapter 1! Yay! I'm excited to keep this going. Stay tuned!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I can't believe I've already f-ed up my writing schedule! I was supposed to write this chapter on Tuesday! I think…**

**Agh! I hope this will still go up today! Sorry!**

**Wendy POV**

"Well, answer the phone!" I said to Kyle.

"Okay, okay," Kyle answered irritatedly, putting the phone up to his ear. "Yeah? Yeah. Yep, they are. Sure. See ya."

"Who was that?" I demanded.

"You'll see," Kyle said slyly, almost coyly. I crossed my arms and shook my head.

"Come on, Kyle, tell us!" Bebe pouted.

"You'll see! Be patient!" Kyle said, laughing.

We all made awkward small talk until the doorbell rang for what was probably the millionth time. Poor Kyle. What a stressful day!

Stan answered the door and five girls walked in. One was black, obviously that was Token. The second had short blonde hair, a blue blouse, and a nervous smile on her face. Butters. The third girl also had blonde hair, but hers (formerly his) was shoulder-length and choppy. Her shirt was buttoned up wrong and she was shaking like a leaf. Yep, Tweek. The next girl had brown hair and a red-and-blue hat. That was Clyde. The last girl had a blue hat on and was flipping Clyde off in an almost nonchalant fashion. We all knew who that was.

They all had unfairly large chests.

What the hell, universe?!

"Hey…guys," Stan said awkwardly, staring at the five pairs of incredible boobs in front of him. I slapped his arm. Hard.

"Ow, Wendy!"

"Oh God, sorry, Stan. Guess I don't know my own strength."

"So, what do we do now? We can't just sit here, we have to _do something_." Kyle said, standing up and balling his (her?) girly little hands into fists.

"Kyle's right," Bebe and I said together. "We've gotta change this back!"

"There's gotta be some logical-or at least semi-logical-reason for this!" I said.

"Well, it's South Park. Anything can happen here." Kyle offered, shrugging.

Then Tweek spoke. "Maybe, erk, someone else is, argh, behind this! Oh God, what if it's, agh, someone in this room! ACK! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Everyone's eyes widened by tenfold. That _was_ the most likely explanation.

"Okay, everybody calm down," Kyle said, ironically sounding panicked. "I'm sure we can figure out what's going on."

"Kyle's right," I said firmly, putting a hand on his arm. "We just need to think. Who would've done this? Who has a motive for changing all of our genders?"

Suddenly, a loud voice rang out from the middle of the crowd.

"I do."

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I promise next week's will be way better! SORRY!**


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